Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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