I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
