sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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