I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
