Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
