ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
