Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
