I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
