You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
