So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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