My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
