Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
