Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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