is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
