Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Randomize
