i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
