like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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