so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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