she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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