wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dicks are not precious.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
