I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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