My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
