I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
