Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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