i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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