For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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