i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just found puke in my bra..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
