so explain again why im purple
no
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't deserve a penis
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
