Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
