haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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