I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
