i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
