just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Randomize
