so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
