I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
