ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
