I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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