They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Panties = found
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
