I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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