good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
