i permit you to call me
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
