Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
