Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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