im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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