hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
