I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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