We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
