Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
