I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
