I just saw a hot homeless man
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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