new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
