grandma shit on top of the toilet
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
His nipple licking is glorious
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